Mysteriousness Is An Essential Factor For Dating Success

Think about how many times you have heard the expression "mysterious stranger". Think about how many times you have heard someone say " I really want to get to know you more". People are attracted to mystery. Being enigmatic, in other words, not knowing what makes a person tick. Not knowing their thoughts. Not knowing everything about them provokes instant challenge. A mysterious stranger is an attractive person. You want to know more, you want to gain their attention you want to be known to them. Someone you can read like an open book lacks that essential quality and is therefore less attractive at first glance.

To be successful and attractive when dating it pays to keep something in reserve. A busy person is an attractive person because their life appears to be full, but you don't actually know that. You simply wish to know more. And in trying to know more, you find an interest level that you didn't find in those that offer you everything on a plate.

An enigmatic man has an air of mystery. An enigmatic woman has the same. Your desire quotient is increased significantly if you don't allow everything in your head to spill out to anyone within earshot. Mystery is a challenge and we know that challenge is inherent in many dating scenarios. By being a challenge to someone who wants to get to know you and by making them work for it, so your chances of success in the dating game are so much higher.

People often say that they meet someone when they least expected it. This is partly because by being busy with their every day routine they didn't notice that someone had taken an interest in them. This is often in part because you are busy. You are promoting an air of desirability because there is a mystery to you. Your life seems full and they are interested. They want to know more about you.

It is worth noting however that enigma and mystery are very different from being stubborn and moody. Not knowing about your life and what makes you trick is one thing. Being downright secretive is something completely different.

Here are some key tips to being enigmatic and mysterious:

At work or with friends, don't bore the office with every opinion you can muster.
Always keep something back when relating a story - why and how and when are details for later
Don't announce every plan you make. Keep some things to yourself for a while
Do not phone people, let them call you
Don't always return calls and never instantly
Keep your private life private. It is not open for general discussion and debate
Don't be too available but don't explain why you are not available either
Keep people guessing
Making interested parties think they are no the only person interested in you ups the ante and increases your desirability
Don't reply to emails and text messages at weekends
If you are using a dating service, don't reply to emails and messages at weekends
Be busy without giving details of what you are doing
Break plans occasionally without giving too much away
When you do meet up be entertaining and fascinating without giving every detail away
Never discuss ex partners and refuse to be drawn on the subject
Use an evasive enigmatic smile to answer questions to great effect
Even when people beg you to know more, keep them guessing
Never be too available, your diary is always semi-full as far as anyone is concerned
Mention you were with 'some people' but say little else on the subject when relating a tale
Let people do the running and don't do the chasing unless necessary
Have different groups of friends who you don't mix together
To be highly effective, create the desire initially then ration it afterwards. They will treat you like a drug, craving more due to the great times they have when they do eventually get to see you
Learn key expressions like "oh I have been really busy", "wow its been crazy", "I have lots of plans this week", "my diary is really full" and "Oh I have been doing so many things" without giving more away
Be a challenge and never be an open book. Make people work to get to know you
Being mysterious takes practice and takes time to get right. Once you do so and are comfortable in not being in constant communication with people they will soon desire to know more. It is a fine balancing trick however because if you are too evasive, people will tire of you and move on.

Dating Essentials: Making Eye Contact

Here is a fact, people don't make eye contact. They should and they do look at each other, but they look away when the other person looks back. Look at the commuters on a subway platform or in a subway carriage. They look at anything except each other. They use devices such as ads and books and papers so that they don't look at each other. Why? Because when we look at each other and make eye contact something very personal happens. It is as if we can see inside each other and see what they are thinking. It is the opening to a conversation. Looking at strangers is a personal introduction.

Good, I am glad we have that out of the way. Because if we accept that we need to look at strangers to introduce ourselves, why then do we find ourselves not able to look people we find attractive in the eye? Well the answer may lie in the fact that we are scared when looking that we will instantly see disapproval for our glances and will be rejected. Being rejected affects our self-confidence levels so by not looking we protect ourselves.

We can glance from afar, even stare and appreciate, as long as they are not looking back. We can check out legs, hair, breasts, chest, ass, anything we can see, but we will then store that image instantly so that we can appreciate without getting caught. The instant the look back, we look away, and allow any form of appreciation in return. This leads to the glancing and return-glances scenario that forms the basic ritual of demonstrating interest.

Usually, one person , let's say in a bar, sees someone they like and will check them out. Eye contact is made for the briefest instant and is followed by looking away. Glances will be made in either direction until eventually, if the feeling in both parties is mutual, the gaze will be held longer and this is then followed by a courtesy smile. Now, at this stage, approval being made via eye contact, it is time to do something about it. But in most cases, nothing happens. Why? Because the fear factor sets in and the man (usually the man) is put off by making a proper approach because she is in a group. A confident man will return the gaze and then move in.

The problem arises, that a man believes he has mistaken the glances and eye contact as accidental and will make mental excuses for this and then not make an approach. And the moment is lost. She may look at you once again as she moves on to another destination with friends. But unless you meet again in different circumstances you have lost because you showed yourself as having no wish to move in. Consequently you come across as a timid person. Fail.

So, men and women need to start knowing how to look at others and then know how to interpret eye contact correctly. First of all you need to begin by looking people in the eye and get used to it. Its no good looking oat the ground and then follow up with sly glances when they are not looking. Look at people and learn to smile at them. You may only be making new friends but who cares, get used to looking and being looked at. Being shy is not the way to a persons heart. Think of the expression "love at first sight" It's never going to happen if you don't get caught looking. As a man, should you look at a woman's breasts and get caught. Sure you should. Don't make it excessive, but if someone looks good, its nice to be appreciated, even if its just momentary and fleeting.

An old friend once told me that she found it difficult to look at men now she was single because an ex boyfriend had been so possessive that she had always looked at the ground when they were out. It took her years to learn to make eye contact with strangers again. So I can appreciate difficulties with eye contact. Shyness is another debilitating factor. Many of us are shy by degrees and making eye contact isn't always easy but we should start practicing. Many are the people who had admirers but never knew it, simply because they never looked.

Another strange phenomenon is the common anxiety in people that when people look at them, they think it is an aggressive stance, not a friendly introduction. Men are often accused at staring at each other followed by the aggressive opener "what are you looking at !" Men with low self-esteem can view women in a similar vein by thinking that if a woman is looking at them, there must be something wrong. Women can feel insecure in the same way by men making eye contact with them.

A very interesting scenario occurred in the summer of 1996 when I was in a bar in Manchester, England and a gay friend of mine could instantly tell me which of the barmen were gay. I wanted to know the secret. Well he said that if you meet a girl you like, you will hold her gaze for a second or two longer than if you were talking to a man. As gay men were looking at you in the same way you look at a woman, he said, then the gay barman will look at you in a similar way by holding your gaze. I have tried this many times since to prove his point and it really does appear to work. What we learn from this is that eye contact is the way to instant attraction indication.

Then of course we have the physiological aspects to eye contact. Pupil dilation and the following of the eyes. On a date which is going well watch the eyes of your date carefully. If she or he is attracted to you, their eyes will dilate (get bigger) and they will hold your gaze as long as possible. But in the instant attraction scenario with a stranger across a crowded room, remember that the quick occasional glances will indicate initial interest so act upon it.

In summary, get used to looking at people and make deliberate eye contact with people you like. Try it in a shop, store or anywhere where you meet strangers. Try and hold the gaze of someone with a nice smile and watch the reaction. You will be surprised. I keep coming back to the same key ingredient in dating. Confidence. Eye contact means confidence and the more you practise, the better you will get. Finally, always remember that not everyone you meet will be attracted to you, so expect some glances never to be returned. Making eye contact is fun.

First Impressions: Look Good When Dating

In you stroll, looking hot in that new dress or skirt with the Manolo's or Jimmy Choo shoes. You know you look good -- after all, it cost you a fortune. You are feeling confident due to the way you are looking and you know others can see it too. Does that ring true? Well maybe, maybe not. On the other hand, in you stroll, black Armani or Hugo Boss suit, Italian leather shoes, handmade shirt. You are feeling good, you are feeling successful and you are feeling confident. Yes, my friends, in this fatuous day and age we are what we wear.

This is not to say that we need to spend a King's ransom on the latest designer gear, fashions, style and hand crafted luxury wear from Italy or wherever. But when we dress well we feel good, we believe we look good and we feel we can do anything we choose. So when dating, it's important to look good because if you do, you will feel good too. Good style means a good level of confidence.

Forget arguing about body shape and expense in your defense against my argument here, it doesn't wash. You can look stylish and classic whatever your shape within reason and whatever your budget. Black will always be classic and well tailored clothes will always look a cut above the rest. I cannot walk down any high street or through any mall these days without being inundated with a sense of style. Everywhere we look there are shops desperate to dress you well. The fact that you don't choose to go in them is not the point. Therefore turning up for your first date in a comfy sweatshirt or sports top may make you feel relaxed but it shows absolute contempt for your date who has spent the best part of the last two hours getting ready for your squalid self. Get a grip man.

While our female readership doesn't need a lecture in self presentation generally, our male readership often does. The first thing for men to remember is that a woman will judge you by looking straight down at your shoes. You may not see what the fuss is about but she may as well be looking straight past your shoes, all the way down to hell. The fact is, the truth is in the detail. You have washed and scrubbed up well, but casting a more detailed glance over you and the small discrepancies are soon revealed. Missing cufflinks, tie all over the place, missing shirt button etc. All mean that deep down either you are a deeply wild and windswept sex god or you are a disaster in the making who has no idea of style and presentation. If you can't dress yourself buddy, what makes you think you can undress her?

But shoes are the biggest giveaway because men think of them as practical necessities that are comfortable rather than looking at the style involved. It is obvious what is classic and in fashion right now, simply turn your eyes and look through the window of the nearest ubiquitous show store. Once you have bought them, ensure they match the rest of the outfit. No don't mix brown with black and if shoeshine cream is as rare as diamonds in your apartment then get back to the shop and sort it out. Good shoes mean that you have attention to detail, she has seen and she has noted!

Men often make the mistake of thinking that the woman is relaxed and kind of a casual gal so he doesn't need to go mad when meeting up. He can be smart but casual. The bad news is most men are casual, not smart but casual. It doesn't happen in my experience. Men have no idea at all what is like to get ready as a woman. The fact that you look subtle and classically understated is lost on a man. He thinks it took you 5 minutes to get ready. He has no idea. Which is why he threw on the white shirt that needed an iron and a pair of casual trousers in such a carefree fashion.

Do not believe GQ-style magazines, however marvelous they are. While there is a small core of very well dressed men out there, they are not the norm. Take your average guy shopping to the mall on a Saturday afternoon and see how long he lasts. Whilst men have a better idea about appearance and do know some label makes and names, they are still eons behind women. But all is not lost. A man with a career can sort himself out in a few easy steps, he simply needs to get his wallet out.

Every man over the age of 25 should have a black, classic, single-breasted, good-quality suit together with the same in navy blue. He should have a casual jacket and a collection of plain colored well made cotton shirts. He should have three pairs of good quality leather shoes, in black and brown and they should be modern and in good condition. A man should have a good quality masculine watch. This is very important as it is possibly the only piece of jewelry a man may ever display. Okay a watch is a timepiece and a necessity but it speaks volumes about you. Some women have expressed a liking for men with large masculine sports watches, but whatever you do wear, it should be a classic as it will speak volumes about your taste.

You should always carry on you a good quality leather wallet that is not stuffed with receipts, preferably in black which you always wear within a jacket pocket, not stuffed into a pocket of your trousers. Whilst you may begin to think I am trying to describe James Bond, you are not far wrong. You can do far worse than to watch a Bond movie to get a sense of class and style. Neither am I suggesting that you alter your image from that which is really you. But as we are discussing first impressions, then you will need to think carefully about the way you do present yourself.

I can only think of a handful of men in my lifetime who do smart but casual well. For many men, it means jeans and a crumpled shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Take a good look about you and think long and hard about your current image and get some feedback from female friends as to how they really perceive your look. You may get a nasty shock. If you are pleasantly surprised then you are on your way.

Looking good is important, as is feeling comfortable. However along with this you should smell good. For men, Aftershave and cologne of a high quality are essential, and the less mainstream the better. For a start, if it is not one of the perennial brands then your date may not have smelled the scent before and will find it unusual and possibly attractive. She will most certainly notice. This is all part of making a good impression. It shows you have made an effort for her and you care. More than one Aftershave is good, a lemon based on for day wear and a heavier woody cologne for the evening with a hint of musk. But always consult and test because many Aftershaves do not suit some types of skin. So spray and then walk round the store before deciding.

Looking and smelling good is not a one-off situation. For second and subsequent dates you need to keep up the good work so I am not recommending your first impression-making attempts are not really you. Take a long hard look at your current image and begin to change things for the better if necessary. And certainly for the long term. Finally, remember that your efforts will be appreciated even if nothing is ever said. In one short phrase, first impressions count.

Instant Love -- More than Just a Date

How do we know when the person we have begun to date is more than just another date on our ever-growing list of nameless faces and faceless names? After all, surely we need some identifying features to root out the wheat from the chaff. Is this person we have seen 6 of 7 times just good fun or do we really think they have the qualities to become relationship material? To answer your own question you need to know who you are looking for and what characteristics are attractive to you and then try and stick to them. If you are dating the right kind of people for you and not just filling gaps in your diary then this may get you off to a good start.

Much of what determines your commitment to your date in the first few days and weeks is a combination of intuition, extra sensory perception (feelings) and what you care to see with your own eyes. If you are desperately lonely and want to meet anyone then anyone will do and this article is irrelevant. If, however, you are more choosey which I suspect deep down you all are, then you will want to tray and detect and then reassure yourself that you haven't just made an awful mistake.

The first thing you should do after the first couple of dates is take a step back and be honest with yourself as to how you are truly feeling. Have you been swept off your feet, are you relieved they are nice, are you blown away by their good looks, can you handle the first few peculiarities you have spotted in them and although they are cute now, will they be in 40 years. Can you see yourself with them 10 years down the line. Can you picture them older. Do they make you feel alive because before you were bored or do they make you feel alive because they are dynamite.

Do you hang on their every word, wait for the next meeting with baited breath? Do you find yourself abandoning your old routine and new horizons opening up. Can you still eat or has your appetite gone. Have you been shopping to may yourself look fresh and hot. Do you find yourself getting in at 4am from a date and do you find yourself having any sleepless nights with your mind full of excited thoughts.

Do you find yourself anxious and panicking. Do you find yourself questioning the intensity of how you are feeling. Are you finding your feelings fully reciprocated. Is there a clear sense of communication between you. Do you actually have similar opinions and tastes or do you care? Do you want to spend all your time with them now or do you find that you are worried your current lifestyle is being compromised more than you would like. Are you doing the calling or are they and how does this make you feel?

In other words, start analyzing the situation as you see it and be bold. Be critical and look at where you are finding yourself being led. If you are happy and content with all the major questions then keep going because you may have just chosen well. If you find on the other hand that you have some small niggling doubts then don't push these thoughts away as they aren't going anywhere, they will just become amplified over time.

The main issue is one of whether you trust your new date and whether you believe what you are being told. It is amazing how many girls I meet how say that strangely they haven't been allowed to see where he lives, or are not quite sure what he does for a living or how much he earns or where his parents live. This isn't an enigma factor ladies, it is a sure sign that all is not quite right. There may be some perfectly valid reasons why things are concealed from you in the first few weeks so don't push things too far. You may not yet have earned the right to know everything about your new love. At the same time, you should feel that the possibility of finding everything important out is imminent. Evasive behavior is exactly that - untrustworthy and your alarm bells should ring.

Trusting your imagination is very important. If you can see yourself with that person in all kinds of situations then you may have chosen well. It is important to creatively imagine how you think you will be together in various scenarios, from being on vacation, to being married, to maybe having children to being older. In doing so you get a sense of how things might work out or might not. If you really can't see yourself with them long term then maybe better to cut your losses whilst you can.

Conversation is critical in establishing if things feel right. Sex does not disguise any problems eventually although sex is a good temporary fix. If your relationship is based on sex then its great whilst it lasts but I doubt that it will last. People say that opposites attract and that is true in that you bring different experiences and opinions to the relationship but the foundation of being a great couple is on a deeper, more critical level of respect and understanding. I find that couples with similar outlooks on life do well together because they have built a support system for each other which requires little explanation. It is called a common understanding. This sometimes explains why couples from certain regions, places, or faiths have better success than the melting pot luck of a big city.

Ultimately if you compliment each other and you find that your new love brings to the relationship most of the essential qualities that you really do hold most dear then you are in a strong position for relationship success. If there are some basic flaws but you are having a good time anyway enjoy yourself but know that the person you are with is for now and not for the future.

Famous Dating Quotes From The Rich And Famous

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." * Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." * Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." * Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." * Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL." * Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist." * Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." *Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." * George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." * Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ~ no matter what she's reading." * Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it, so I said" Thyroid problem?" * Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." * Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." * Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." * Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humour)!

"Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." * Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." * Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." * Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." * Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" * Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.'" * Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." * Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." * Robin Williams

Single Parents and Dating

This is a complex subject and I can't do it justice here but I offer some thoughts. Dating single parents should not be the problem it is and things are starting to move in the right direction at last. Being a single mother or father has never been easy when looking for a new partner. You are seen to be carrying a lot of baggage that a single person doesn't really have to take onboard if there are lots of single people around without children. That's the basic truth. In other words you are second choice to someone without kids in the largest section of single groups.
To be realistic, a proportion of eligible people are lost to you if you have children, for many reasons. For a start you will not trust everyone you meet and will have some specific criteria your new partner must match with for the safety of your family. Then some people will not want to have children for personal reasons and so they would not make suitable partners. Then others just wouldn't be suited to your family environment, maybe through career or outlook. Also worth noting is that many people do look for people with children for a variety of reasons, maybe because they have children too.
Yet its important to remember that we can easily see single people as having the whole singles market to themselves when in fact there are limitations on all of us. We may be short, or bald, or fat or thin or many things that some people don't want. In which case no one has it easy in the dating game.
The main problem with being a single parent attempting to date is one of image. Not your image of yourself, the image that other people have of you. You may not be a Valium-chomping, shopping bag- carrying, crying baby-cradling single mum, but its possible that others see that image in their head. Tag that along side the thoughts of a ready-made family with instant serious responsibilities and one can see where the problems may lay.
The fact is, being a single parent is a lonely business. Your social life is very restricted unless your ex has a lot of regular responsibility and custody of the children. You tend to stay in in the evenings and tend to your children as more than you do to your own needs. Soon enough you have become isolated and when you feel ready to date, its tricky to know where to begin. Worst still even if you do get a night out occasionally will you be able to meet anyone who wants to date you when you have children. And will you want to date them?
I went to see About a Boy last year starring Hugh Grant and I could identify with his character in that there are many single mums I know who are desperate to find a nice guy to date. But that doesn't mean to say it is easy pickings for any man that strolls along. I have found single parents have very definite views about who they would like to meet and who would fit into their lives. Being available simply isn't enough.
Many of my friends are single parents and the most common complaint is that people don't seem to be interested in them once they admit they have children who live at home. It's almost like it is too much hassle for a prospective date. However my single parents friends are the most caring, organized, gentle and forward looking people I have ever met. Most have weekends free due to their ex partners having access rights and so it is not as if parents are tied as a single person may believe. Some of my friends though pointed out that they have met single potentials who don't really understand that they have parental responsibilities and there is a fair amount of criticism of single people not having the necessary levels of understanding. The fact is, if you date a single parents you do need to make adjustments.
I asked a few single male friends of mine what they thought and they said they would not discount single parents if the number of children was manageable. What they meant was that if you have one or two children that appears to be the acceptable level of take-on future responsibility. However one of my lovely single female friends has 4 children and she felt that that was somewhat off-putting for many prospective partners. She went on to say that she now viewed having a relationship would happen once her children grew up but not before.
The focus should be on you as a person and your domestic situation shouldn't matter. This may reveal why some single parents feel it is necessary to conceal their domestic situation until a little way down the line. "It's not like I am lying, it is just that I am not going to be too specific" said one female friend. Revealing that you have a child later on once you have hooked your mate doesn't appear to cause too many problems but I would be very cautious of that approach as it smacks of deceit and trying to hook someone.
With the deterioration of marriage in modern society and more people living together it is a major fact of life that there are a lot of single parents out there. They have already demonstrated their domestic skills, their fertility, their organizational abilities and their ability to cope under pressure. Therefore you can argue that a single parent is almost top pick amongst out ever increasing pool of singles. Single parents have a lot going for them and I often now believe it is simply a case of overcoming the initial years of isolation and getting back into the dating game with a degree of confidence.
Things to feel good about:
Coping as a single parent is a huge skill
You have proven your domestic abilities
You have proven your organizational responsibilities
You are a great home maker
You are a great mother or father
You are caring, kind and responsible
Single people often desire to be like you
The Internet has revolutionized dating from home. Now you can chat with people you like 24 hours a day and build up a relationship online before meeting when appropriate. Furthermore you can select what type of people you would like to meet through the online search facilities so that you can zoom in on the kind of person who would fit in with your parental lifestyle. Things are looking up.
Make dating easier for yourself with these tips:
If you are finding meeting people difficult think about the inherent safety of using an Internet dating agency like LoveBrowser.com. You can chat safely from home and make new friends.
Do decide what your dating goals are. If the date is for company and fun enjoy yourself. If you are looking at your date from the point of view of prospective father or mother then be clear about that
Do ask lots of questions and be straight up about having children. Never pretend you don't just so that you can get a date.
If your children are old enough to understand, do tell them that you are dating.
Take your time before introducing a prospective new family member but make sure that you do keep your kids well informed
Do stick to your dating criteria and don't be swayed just because you are having a good time.
Don't forget that if your date doesn't have children they don't necessarily want to chat about yours constantly. That's natural.
Don't talk about your children in detail until you are very comfortable with the person you are dating.
If someone cannot grasp your role as mother or father and the commitments that entails, dump them swiftly.
Make sure that your prospective partner understands the shared responsibilities of being part of your family
If you find that your date doesn't take to your children you have probably been dating the wrong person for you.
If you don't want further children later be clear from the outset. If you have 2 children and you are 39, enough may be enough.
Do allow your children to have a view of your date but do not let their views influence your own judgment. A child may be jealous of losing attention.

Dating Statistics: Top Dating Tips Poll Statistics

Check our survey to find out what others think about dating

Have you ever dated more than one person simultaneously ?


1. Yes 53%
2. No 33%
3. Don't Know 13%

Do you believe in love at first sight ?


1. Yes 71%
2. No 20%
3. Don't Know 9%

Choose the most important features of a partner


1. Looks 11%
2. Personality 30%
3. Physique 5%
4. Sense of Humor 14%
5. Eyes 10%
6. Popularity 0%
7. Smile 12%
8. Hair 7%
9. Education 7%
10. Career 3%

When a previous relationship has ended which of these is true ?


1. I was unfaithful 0%
2. He/she was unfaithful 29%
3. Amicable separation 9%
4. Irreconcilable differences 23%
5. Angry breakup 3%
6. Still friends 14%
7. Still lovers 3%
8. Just drifted apart 6%
9. Not sure what happened 14%

On a date do you think your companion is generally 100% truthful ?


1. Yes 22%
2. No 78%
3. Don't know 0%

When does a date become a relationship ?


1. 1 week 3%
2. 1 month 17%
3. 2 months 20%
4. 6 months 13%
5. Once we have had sex 13%
6. Once I have met the parents 8%
7. Once we have been on vacation 0%
8. Once we have moved in together 0%
9. When he/she says I love you 25%

Do you trust someone when you first date them ?


1. Yes 24%
2. No 67%
3. Don't Know 10%

Do you think it is okay to date someone from work ?

1. Yes, absolutely 22%
2. Yes, if you are careful 26%
3. Yes, if it remains a secret 4%
4. Yes, but not from your own office 15%
5. No, you will risk your career 13%
6. No, absolutely not 11%
7. Unsure 9%

What is the biggest acceptable age gap for you ?


1. Same age only 0%
2. 1 years 2%
3. 3 years 12%
4. 5 years 44%
5. 10 years 24%
6. 15 years 4%
7. 20 years 2%
8. 25 years 4%
9. Age doesn't matter at all 8%

What is the first thing you notice about your date ?


1. Looks 38%
2. Dress 10%
3. Personality 17%
4. Wealth 0%
5. Style 2%
6. Manners 0%
7. Smile 10%
8. Eyes 19%
9. Humor 4%
10. Generosity 0%

How hard it it to find someone you really like?

1.) Impossible 9%
2.) Difficult 59%
3.) Fairly difficult 21%
4.) Fairly easy 9%
5.) Very easy 3%

Do you think people's expectations are too high these days ?

1.) Yes 62%
2.) No 31%
3.) Don't Know 7%

Do you like being single ?

1.) I love it 0%
2.) I like it 15%
3.) I don't mind 35%
4.) I don't like it 15%
5.) I hate it 35%

Do appearance and looks matter to you ?

1.) Yes 67%
2.) No 17%
3.) Don't know 17%

Would you ever use internet dating services ?

1.) Yes 69%
2.) No 20%
3.) Don't know 11%

Do you find it easy to meet new people ?

1.) Very easy 17%
2.) Quite easy 6%
3.) Easy 17%
4.) Quite difficult 42%
5.) Very difficult 17%
6.) Impossible 3%

How long have you been single ?

1.) 1 week 11%
2.) 1 month 7%
3.) 3 months 22%
4.) 6 months 18%
5.) 1 year 11%
6.) 2 years 7%
7.) 2 years+ 24%

Would you like to get married ?

1.) Yes 44%
2.) No 12%
3.) Maybe 32%
4.) Not again 4%
5.) Don't know 8%

Where is the best place to meet new people ?

1.) Bar 18%
2.) Club 11%
3.) Beach 4%
4.) Church 2%
5.) Social club 4%
6.) Mall 4%
7.) Internet 18%
8.) Work 22%
9.) Sport 7%
10.) Other 9%

What kind of hair color are you most attracted to ?

1.) Blonde 32%
2.) Black 16%
3.) Light Brown 8%
4.) Dark Brown 8%
5.) Grey 4%
6.) Red 8%
7.) Bald 8%
8.) Don't Mind 16%

These next results are a larger sample of readers over a 6 month period from May to November 2004...

Girls, do you prefer nice guys or bad guys ?


1. Nice Guys 38%
2. Bad Guys 15%
3. Any man I can get ! 6%
4. A blend of both 34%
5. Neither 7%

How important are a guy's shoes when checking him out ?


1. Extremely 8%
2. Very 13%
3. Quite 45%
4. Not very 11%
5. Not at all 6%
6. Don't notice 18%

Are men too clingy these days ?


1. Yes 38%
2. No 33%
3. Haven't noticed 11%
4. Don't know 18%

Do you think a man should pay for dinner ?


1. Yes always 42%
2. It depends if I like him 4%
3. Sometimes 34%
4. No, both should share the cost 11%
5. No the girl should pay 1%
6. Only if it's expensive 0%
7. No opinion 7%

What kind of woman do you go for ?


1. Modern career girl 35%
2. Professional go-getter 7%
3. Home-loving girl-next-door 34%
4. The quiet librarian 4%
5. The outrageous vamp 0%
6. The femme fatale 0%
7. The girl at the checkout 6%
8. Someone like mom 1%
9. The free spirited hippy chick 8%
10. Your ex 6%

Do girls over estimate their looks ?


1. Always 15%
2. Usually 25%
3. Sometimes 28%
4. Rarely 17%
5. Never 5%
6. All women are beautiful 10%

Do you know what people are attracted to about you ?


1. Yes always 4%
2. Yes I have some ideas 32%
3. I can guess 18%
4. Not really 32%
5. No idea 14%

Have you ever had a one night stand and regretted it the next day ?

1. Yes 42%
2. No 53%
3. Maybe, not telling 3%
4. Not sure 2%

Girls, how often should men buy flowers for you ?

1. Once a day 5%
2. Once a week 9%
3. Once a month 23%
4. Once a year 5%
5. When it's special 20%
6. Spontaneously 33%
7. Never 6%

For me, dating is mainly about..... ?


1. Love 21%
2. Marriage 19%
3. Friendship 8%
4. Partnership 6%
5. Sex 19%
6. Company 3%
7. Social life 3%
8. Romance 12%
9. Conversation 3%
10. Sharing 6%
TopDatingTips.com as the resource

Advice About Dating - The Nature of Dating Advice

Dating advice is often given by the most well-meaning of people. Unfortunately they are often the least qualified people to give it. How many times have mothers mentioned that there are "plenty more fish in the sea" when we announce our partner has finished the relationship. Most advice we receive is well meaning but also unhelpful. This is primarily because when we need advice the most if is usually from the wrong sources. When we need to talk, our friends just want us to get "better", be more positive etc.

The best dating advice often seems to come from people who have been in the same situations as ourselves and have gained some comforting wisdom that we can equate to. The more we understand and agree with what is being said, the more common and shared the experience the more it is something we will choose to take in. The problem when seeing dating advice is that there are not too many places to turn. Sure there is Relate for marriage counseling and there are professional agencies and "experts" to help those of us who are getting divorced, but there is almost nothing to help us when we do what everyone does - date.

I personally feel that the best dating advice available to us is from single people, those of us who are at the sharp end of the dating equation. When you are trying to find someone to take to dinner, or accompany you to a function, when you have weekend after weekend to fill and yearn to spend time in stimulating company then it is to single people that you must look for inspiration.

Strangely we seek out those who are in couples for support in times of crisis, perhaps because they have "made it", they are where we want to be, so we trust their judgment. But what brought them together is not necessarily of help to you. And believe me, people in relationships soon forget what it was like to be single. I have heard some of the most useless dating advice of all from couples so I recommend that if you are currently single and playing the dating game, compare notes with like minded people. Couples will drive you crazy and remind you too often how smugly nice it is to be happy.

When dating, the thing we should always remember is that advice is simply what someone else thinks might assist you. The person giving this advice may not necessarily have any idea of your true state of mind of your particular circumstances. How can someone know what you should say or what you should so, or where you should meet apart from the usual practical ideas. But then there is an equally and opposite forceful argument.

Your friends who are not dating are often able to see things from distance that you sometimes cannot. One good example of this was when I was in a two year relationship with a particularly nasty person and I was continually advised to run away as fast as I could. I was being used and abused and chose not to see it. I ignored the advice that may have saved me. Friends may be single and not currently dating. They may have just been through the dating treadmill and are full of good ideas. Therefore whilst we can discount the happy couple's advice, don't cut off the advice of friends fully.

Trust your own instincts and trust your judgment. Once you are in a relationship you will need all the judgment skills you can muster anyway. Personally though, I get tired of people working out set formulas about how we date. I get tired of lifestyle gurus who often have no idea what they are talking about. To some, dishing out the same old dating advice and garbage is a way of making a living. The fact is, if you are out there calling people, meeting for lunch dates or evening dinners. If you are making calls and waiting for your phone to ring, if you are having plenty of ups and downs then you are as much a dating expert as anyone and have as much right to your views on the dating scene as anyone. That is why I like to hear about single people's experiences.

Dating advice is not a fixed theorem with a fixed set of answers. Dating advice is varied, unique and individual and comes from the heart. This site is owned and written by me, as a single person who has been on hundreds of dates and has had some really lovely relationships. Dating advice is simply my way of sharing my dating experiences and views on the world with you guys.