"Fear of Dating: Conquer Your Dating Fears"

More than anything else, fear when dating will get you off to a bad start. Your date can sense that you are scared a mile away. It shows, it comes across and it is hard to disguise. Fear makes the person on the receiving end feel unattractive and unsteady. It makes them not want to be in this situation with you and you will find that rejection comes quickly. It is a viscous circle because the reason often why you will feel fear is because you fear rejection.
Fear of rejection is debilitating. It prevents you from functioning properly. It affects your movements and speech and most certainly prevents you from displaying the glorious aspects of your relaxed character. You are uptight so you can't talk fluently, your words come out all wrong, you don't come across properly. In some circumstances I have seen people come across as aggressive merely because they were frightened of being rejected.
We want to be loved, we want to be liked, we want to attract, we want to be popular and we want to succeed in the things we try. But something inside us tells us in advance of our actions that we are going to fail. The girl we approach won't like us and she will reject our advances so we are not sure why we will try, but we will. The problem with this approach is that your fear shows through already, so its not you who is allowing you to be rejected, but that your fear of rejection is in itself causing the rejection to happen.
What is lacking here my friends is confidence. If your confidence levels are up - you are on form. You are interesting as well as interested. You are smiling and you can take a joke. You can approach and have fun and make light of any situation. In turn this makes the person you have approached feel relaxed in your company and able to judge how your character truly comes across. If you make someone laugh, you have them interested already. If you are frightened you will cease up.
Now I know how fear of rejection can be because I have felt this way. I see a beautiful girl and she is waiting to be approached. She has caught my eye and she appears receptive. However, I would either not approach or if I did it would take me so long that the moment had passed and she could already tell that I was scared. In a previous article I spelled it out for guys, one of the most attractive qualities in a man is confidence. You cannot become confident overnight and using drugs and alcohol to assist is a huge mistake. What you can do is look at how you can change things you don't like about yourself to increase your confidence levels.
You may fear rejection because you have been rejected so many times already. In which case you are already scared. Well it is true that dating is a numbers game and that eventually someone will say yes, but then perhaps you are introducing yourself to the wrong type of girls in the wrong way. If you use chat-up lines, stop instantly and start being more natural.
Interestingly there is a recent report in the London Times* relating to a study by the Social Issues Research center in Oxford as to why men get their approach wrong so often and mistake the signals women give out which may assist in dealing with the fear of rejection. Men often mistake the signs of friendliness from a woman as an overture for something else when this is not what is actually happening. If you are scared of being rejected yet again after making a pass at a woman there may be a very good reason. Women appear to be sending out very subtle but misleading flirtatious signals known as "proteans".
The man will read this "proteans" as flirtatious signals giving him the green light to act. However the woman is in fact assessing and working out whether you are a suitable mate or not. All potential suitors are interrogated through these signals in the same way. When you first meet a prospective date she will bombard you for the first few minutes with many confusing protean signals (named after the Greek river god Proteus who was able to change his form to evade enemies !). These ambiguous signals confuse the man allowing women to gain the upper hand by finding out what the man is truly like very quickly. Because of this, it is hardly surprising therefore that men become confused and consequently face rejection.
The most surprising outcome from the study was that in two-thirds of cases, the opening flirtatious gambit was initiated by the woman , most likely through a flirtatious gaze, repeated to attract your attention. It goes to prove therefore what I always believed, in that when you enter the room the woman has already decided whether you area good candidate or not, even if you are led to believe it was all your idea. Men appear to make the approach but it is in fact the woman using very very subtle techniques.
This survey and general information on this subject is significant because it helps us understand and combat our fear of rejection. Women in modern society are able and willing to make the move for partners they like. Women are not wallflowers. If we are to readily accept findings like those above then we should consider that we are being tested in our initial approach and that it is clear fear will make us fail from the outset. So its critical that you deal with your confidence levels in advance of an approach.
What is also important to add is that we have heard it said that women hate to be ignored and can find a man more attractive initially if men are not fawning all over them. This must be highly linked to these protean signals. The woman is checking you out as a potential mate but you are not reciprocating. If you are not displaying fear, but nonchalance or disinterest, this may confuse the woman and increase her interest in you. We can categorize this behavior as a game, and it most certainly is a game of courtship yes.
Fear in dating has to be dealt with, it will not assist you in meeting the person of your dreams. It is almost always linked to how you view yourself in terms of looks and skills and almost all of these issues can be dealt with. If you increase your confidence levels and then combine this with a sensible approach to who you approach then your success rate in the initial approach will soar. If you combine this with pre-armed knowledge that you will be bombarded with confusing signals you can decide that rejection is all part of the natural dating game and isn't so serious after all. Have fun and don't fear.

"Dating Fatigue: Tired of Dating"

The fact is, we all get tired of it - dating. I do and maybe you do too. Yes its true, we get tired of trying to meet people we like. We go through hell on earth to meet someone, elicit their details, spend ages and ages chatting, emailing, messaging, writing, phoning and then we go dating. And then we go dating again. And it comes to nothing. And ultimately dating fatigue sets in. We singles know this feeling and yet it is rarely discussed and even less written about. The fact is, being single is hard work and it wears us out.

I know that some of you reading this will have despaired from time to time, thinking that your perfect person is never to be found whilst also hoping secretly that they are hiding just round the corner. After a number of dates you wonder if it is worth it. Emotionally drained, high hopes, low results and you think, "it can't only be me", surely! Yes you are right, you are suffering from dating fatigue but it isn't only you. We all feel it.

Why? Well we make a mental list and then try and reduce it. A mental list of the things we want our partner to be, the qualities and attributes we would like them to have. Maybe this comes from having our fingers burned, maybe from downright experience. The fact is, we all have our list and we need that list. Mr. Right will just not be Mr. Right without us checking first. When we find that the people we date don't really match up to our mental perception of what we want after beginning so optimistic, we feel drained of it. We need to recharge our batteries before rejoining the dating battle.

And this cycle continues, time and time again. There are a few yes, who are very lucky indeed and they will probably not be reading this, but for most of us we need to take a methodical approach. We are on a life campaign to find someone to love, so expect to get tired, expect to feel let down occasionally and pace yourself. Don't go on 20 dates a week thinking Mr. Perfect is waiting in the next singles bar. He may be, but he probably won't be. Instead, concentrate on quality rather than quantity.

To avoid dating fatigue decide on what we want, who we want and when we want - it. Do you build yourself up in anticipation before each date and lead yourself into an emotional crisis, or do you keep a cool clear head and wait to be pleasantly surprised? Do you have just one or two high quality dates a month with true potential partners or do you go out with every available person you meet. I suspect the latter will certainly bring on dating fatigue. But oddly, so will the former. You see, high quality dates are as draining and possibly a bigger let down than anything. To be faced with true potential and then to watch it fade away over a Merlot is soul destroying and many of us have felt that. The fact is , there is no easy answer concerning dating regularity. They will both wear you down.

The single factor that crops up more than anything in giving us dating fatigue lays deep within communication issues. By that, I mean lying. People tell lies, they tell us what we want to hear, they pretend to be something they aren't and they avoid the truth about things they shouldn't. Not everyone does that, but a great many do. Its because many people don't feel happy about themselves, they want to be something larger than life, they want to impress and in doing so, they exclude themselves from dating success. We realize we are not being told the truth, we acknowledge the original potential but its too late. The date is over.

A friend of mine told me recently that there was no point in dating me because in truth I wasn't their ideal and they were now solely focusing on finding that perfect partner. I admire them for their honesty and their focused dating regime. It kind of lacks romance but I respect dedication to the cause.
I think that the way we all should deal with dating fatigue is simple: take some time off, like holiday if you like. Go do something completely different, begin a new sport or hobby and enjoy the important simple pleasures in life and stop thinking about Mr. Right. And in doing so - well you may be pleasantly surprised who you meet. Oh and your batteries will be recharged too.

"Meeting the Parents: Stressful Occasions"

Okay so you have met the love of your life. You have been safely cocooned in your love nest and things have been going fabulously. You guys are getting pretty serious and its time to take things to the next level due to inquisitive phone calls from keenly interested parents. Lets face it, you are dreading it. Your private life is about to be held open to scrutiny by people you know to be scrupulously honest. This is dangerous territory dear reader.
The first danger is that your parents could confirm something you have already thought of but discounted. You know that they have a lazy eye but you don't need it bringing up over tea and biscuits. Now we certainly don't need a good time ruining so we hope that we are wrong. The next is that parents have high expectations and standards for their offspring and the person you are about to drag through their pristine front door is about to be interrogated like a war criminal. Woe betide them if they fail the interview as it can leave you feeling isolated. On the other hand its possible your parents could simply be embarrassing by pulling out photo albums of the time when you had Mumps aged 3.
Friendly parents are lovely and you will always feel far worse as the offspring than the love of your life who has never met them before because you are fearing the embarrassment factor. They are not. If your new love is flirtatious you can be driven up the wall by their over friendly behavior and your mom or dad taking a shine to them. There again you must also take into consideration the awkwardness that could ensue due to parental excesses and eccentricities. You may have grown used to your father's liking from swinging from the branches of a tree in the garden but your date may be somewhat shocked.
Of course before any first meeting there is always that amazing briefing you get in the car on the way. Parents of course never live round the corner, but usually about 30 miles+ away. On the way you will explain about all the little foibles and eccentricities, things to watch out for, apologies in advance. Things to say and things not to say etc. My favorite was when I dated an Italian girl. I visited Florence to visit and had to formally ask her father permission to escort her after 10.30pm at night. I was ushered into his study where I appeared to have encountered Marlon Brando from the Godfather. Unfortunately he spoke no English. I had to spend 3 hours in there and we used sign language. He enjoyed my silly efforts and granted permission!
Then again you may be the visiting lover who is being introduce din which case you are either going to be not good enough for daddy's little princess of mommy's little soldier. Its a fact. Well that's what you feel on the way and play repeatedly though various scenarios that could develop. What happens if the toilet won't flush, what happens if I accidentally break a Ming vase or start cursing uncontrollably for absolutely no reason. And so the stress levels mount accordingly.
Usually when we get introduced to parents they are really looking forward to meeting us as long as we aren't the 20th that month. Parents simply want their children to be happy in life and love and as long as their prospective partners are nice then that's fine. Or so you think. Remember that at the back of the mind is the thought that you could end up being one of the family and who exactly will be paying for the wedding anyway! So it pays to make a real effort and be conscientious on this occasion.
If you mess things up you can be jeopardizing your own relationship so try and be on form, take a small gift with you and have your wits about you and your sense of humor switched up high. Is meeting the parents really that important? yes it can be, it depends on many factors like closeness of family and age etc. But in the end we all seek some kind of acceptance for our newly-chosen partner, we want to be told we have made a very good choice. And who better to do it than the people closest. A necessary hurdle that you must leap.
Things to Remember on a first visit:

• Be polite and show respect
  


• Don't have a hangover from the night before
  


• Don't ever refer to sex and your partner
  


• Don't ask if you can sleep together at their house
  


• Take small gift with you that has been researched
  


• Refer to the parents formally unless invited otherwise
  


• Do not drink alcohol unless invited
  


• Never attempt to smoke, even in the garden or yard
  


• Never refuse food and drink. Accept graciously
  


• Do show humor and character but not too much
  


• Do think through some basic questions they may ask
  


• Do not be evasive about your work or career
  


• Dress well and look presentable
  


• Avoid any form of bad language
  


• Think of the entire situation as a small interview

"The Class Factor: Meeting People with Class When Dating"

When dating, there are certain people I have encountered who always stand out. It is not those who were the most visually stunning or those who were the most flash, it was simply those few people who exuded class. Men can have class, women can have class. But what do I mean? Well, by class I mean a level of sophistication, education, intelligence and breeding that makes them stand out from the crowd. Now get this straight. Class has nothing (zero) to do with wealth. Its has everything to do with knowing how to act and how to have a level of style and sophistication that most people are too lazy to carry off.
If as a woman, someone held the door open for me, got my chair, and knew about wines and food and could converse well on a wide range of subjects I would be impressed and see them as having class. You may not have two cents to rub together but if you are thoughtful and intelligent, caring and well read, you may have class. Class has nothing to do with what you wear although your class will show through the way you wear your clothes. I will give you an example: In Bali a male friend on walking up to a temple, immediately pulled out a well crafted silk sarong. He had read the need to keep covered in Indonesian temple and his research and preparation shoed his class in this situation.
An angry man shouting at a waiter on a date shows no class at all and should be avoided. It may be the style of people of some great cities to be bullish and aggressive and rude, particularly in restaurants but this kind of behavior shows no class at all and speaks volumes about they lack of knowledge of how to treat fellow humans. A person with class will not be rude but will be gracious and polite. A person with true class will know when it is necessary to make a point and can be firm without ever raising their voice. I know so many girls who have been outraged by their date making a complete display of himself by having to be rude and arrogant to a waiter to demonstrate their power. It is sad, it is fruitless and such men will deserve to remain single.
The problem with modern generations is that we have seen a dumbing down of society and as this has happened so stupidity is applauded and intelligence ignored. Whilst James Bond may still be a screen idol, his level of sophistication is seen in very few. It is almost as if class is only available to the wealthy few. This is not true. Women with class tend to be subtle and understated as do men. Women will tend not to be ostentatious though they will be educated and informed with specific tastes in anything and everything. You can test out people by simply asking their opinions on things. Ask them what is their favorite Picasso composition, ask them what they think of this years authors or even current events. Class will show through in informed reasoning and sparkling conversation. With class comes wit and observation.
People with class know how to treat you well but more importantly know how to make you the center of attention whilst you are together. An old friend used to spend hours in a restaurant whilst her date eyed up every woman who entered the building. She put up with it for a time but the man had no class. Yes I have had some dates where the gaze remains focused on me, where I am listened to intently, reasoned with, debated with and made to feel special and fascinating. That is a date with class.
So where do you find people who have class? Does it mean hanging around academic and literary circles or art galleries? Not at all. First of all let us be clear. Your type of date may simply not be this kind of person at all. If getting recklessly drunk in your local bar with the girl of your dreams is your thing then that is perfect. If you simply like sharing Dunkin' donuts and coffee, that is perfect too. You will find a person with class by sticking to those who will treat you well. When dating make sure you look to find someone who matches you in intelligence and interests. Date people who know how to treat you well and ensure you are made to feel special. Date people who behave impeccably and make you feel like you are walking on air.
No one has to put up with second best in their lives so wanting to meet someone with class is not out of the question. Simply make a list of the qualities that you would like in someone and then ensure that you primarily date those who are able to fulfill those promises.
If someone has class, you want to be with them. You feel good to be with them and you feel good about yourself. You feel like your world has opened up and that there are millions of new possibilities. You feel you can learn form them and they can learn from you.
Here is a list of things that I found in my special dates who did have class that you may want to look for to.
They are intelligent and witty
They listen and are very interested
They are quietly confident about their own abilities
They are well dressed but understated
They are well-travelled or had studied hard
They are conscientious and polite
They are well-read and have wide interests
They know who they are and have ambitions
They are never rude or arrogant
They ensure you are the focus of attention
They ensure you always feel comfortable
They are always considerate
They are relaxed and extremely easy to chat with
They make you feel good just to be with them
They are a person of the people
They never discuss their money and belongings
They are never loud and ostentatious
If you get some of the following when you are with a date then you may have found someone who does have class. Remember, class has nothing to do with riches and wealth and is really about manners and breeding and how people treat others, including you.

"Being Single: It's Not All Fun and Games"

Being single means different things to each of us. For some it is a way of life. For a small minority, it is the way we always will be. For most of us, its is a constant battle with optimism. Hope springs eternal they say. We weren't designed to spend our lives alone. For the solitary monk it may be a life of dedication but for us mere mortals, its is a state of being that we hope is temporary.
Being single is not easy. It means first of all that we are daily responsible for every decision we make. We can't share decision making because there is no one close enough to share things with. We trust our friends but we will not have formed as close a bond as we do in a long term personal relationship. Therefore it us up to us to decide what we do each day, whether we go to work, what we will have for dinner, where we will go at a weekend, what we do on vacation and where and how we socialize.
When we get home in an evening there isn't anyone there (which is why so often we have cats and dogs) to welcome us. We prepare dinner alone (or don't bother), run a bath, take a shower and generally live a solitary existence punctuated by our social life and friends as well as work routine. One of the primary issues about being single is not being able to discuss things on our mind when we want to. In social circles we can to an extent and we may call up friends on the phone but this lacks the deeper understanding and compassion we receive from a close partner in a relationship.
We like to play ideas off each other, discuss, talk, think aloud and have pillow talk about the future. All of this is missing when single. Occasional dates or romantic encounters may provide passing closeness but in effect we remain single still. There is something interesting on the TV, but we won't chat about that until we are at work. We have an ailment that worries us, who do we discuss that with? There is an issue with a person at work, what should we do. Friends and family play their part but they don't fill that singleness we are likely to feel.
Cooking for one is a painful experience. What is the point of cooking a nice meal if there is no one to share it with. There is a great movie but we will watch it alone. We need to go shopping and get something new for the apartment but we are going to have to do without the fun of deciding together. Then of course there is sex. Sex-for-one is well known to most singles but its generally not what we were designed for.
Close relationships offer companionship, understanding, empathy, friendship as well as love and romance and without them, we are pretty much left to our own devices to fill that void. When we are younger there is so much to focus on that it may not be such an issue but as we get older we begin to discover that visiting the wonders of the world alone is deeply dissatisfactory.
Being single is a heightened sense because our society emphasizes couples. From meals for two in the grocery store, to paying for single supplements in hotels; much is set against the single person. Why do we pay extra for a single bed when on vacation? The we have our friends who are in couples which does much to heighten our sense of singledom. Dinner parties mean we are excluded due to not having a partner, or we are matched up with some geek we have little in common with by friends desperate to pair us off.
Adult society in the West is made up of approximately 33% single people and this is increasing at a remarkable rate. Admittedly in many areas of the service industry, singles are being seen as a new market and opportunities to cash in on single life are steadily coming into the market place. But again it emphasis a state of play we may not wish to be reminded of. When we set off outdoors on a weekend we will encounter many many couples along the way and we find ourselves wondering what it is about them that got them together when we are total treasures that no one appears to discover?
Therefore being single means being optimistic. It means keeping positive in the face of adversity. That adversity manifests itself through the thought in the back of our heads that whispers 'what if..'. What if we meet someone tomorrow, what if we spend out lives alone and never meet anyone again, what ever we never fall in love, what if no one actually likes us, what if we were meant to remain single. And it is this whispering that we fight to keep at bay daily by fighting to remain optimistic.
Optimism comes from the general knowledge that most of us will meet someone, we will find Mr. or Miss Right soon enough. But as we get older, we start to worry, even start to silently panic. If we are to meet our perfect match it has to happen before we are too old. We would like it to happen whilst we are still young enough. And as anyone in their 30's appreciates, as we get older , so time speeds up. In our twenties, time seemed endless. But as the wrinkles in the corner of our eyes demonstrates, one day we wake up and we are older, much older. And we are still single.
Being single is to an extent a triumph,. It means we have avoided the disappointment of dating disasters, wrong choices, and loneliness within a terrible relationship. It means we still have our own choices and our own sense of direction. We have the full sense of self determination and control over destiny. But at the same time it wears us down. It may be hard to admit, but the vast majority of us don't like being single. In fact we hate it.
We hate it because we don't get to share. We don't get to make happen the sharp image in our head of the perfect relationship we know is possible with the right partner. We have a never ending well of 'giving' that so far has been ignored. We want to give and we want to please. We wish to love and we want that opportunity. We are ready and willing but we are not allowed. Its almost like being in an isolation cell in prison. Being single heightens our sense of the need to give and it heightens the sense of frustration accordingly.
Being single isn't a cornfield full of casual sex, boozy nights, general lack of responsibility and carefree existence over the age of 25. Its a burden that many of us carry. Through failed relationships we have built up a mental list of the things we will never accept again in a relationship and at the same time it provokes and overpowering explanation of what we really do hope for. Being single isn't about choices, it is about circumstances. We know that had we been a certain place, had a certain life, then we probably wouldn't be single. But where we find ourselves today means that we are. Well we are for the time being.
By dating we keep our hopes alive. We realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And whilst the most recent suitor may not have been the one for us, at least we are heading in the right direction. And that's how many of us cope with being single. We do everything we can to keep our hopes alive. We convince ourselves that being single is by choice and that we are just waiting to meet the right one. And that's true, that's exactly what we are doing. But the 'what if' whispers away. Our body clocks may tick louder, our hair may thin, but we KNOW we will get there in the end. We hope.
Being single means living with a sense of frustration that little else can match. We don't have the answers as to why we are alone. We even ask 'why me?' This isn't how we have envisaged our lives, this isn't how we saw our future. So why has it happened? What went wrong. Where did we go wrong? Where are all the nice guys and girls. Maybe they have all been snapped up. Maybe there simply aren't any and we are fooling ourselves. Then we remind ourselves of the few examples of great friends in great relationships and this provides us with the temporary proof we need. And then we begin to question ourselves further. We may even question our own judgment, wondered if we have missed our best opportunity to be in a good relationship. Maybe we are simply too choosey? Maybe it really is all our fault. But of course it isn't.
When vacations and national holidays and Christmas or Thanksgiving come along, then we are reminded heavily just what being single feels like. On Valentine's day we are also reminded that we are yet again this year solitary creatures. However this year will be different. We feel it. We have our sights set one on or two potentials and who knows where things may lead. Who knows, by Christmas we could be engaged.
Married people often think the grass is greener on the other side. People in bad relationships dream of the freedom of being single. I have been told many times that I don't know how lucky I am to be single. The next time someone says that to me, I will go over and stick my finger in their eye and remind myself indeed how lucky I am that I decided to do that..all by myself.

Quick Dating Tips:Keeping the Momentum In Relationships

Once you have started dating regularly you will need to think about keeping the momentum going. It is all too easy to allow your dating to run out of steam too early and watch your date lose interest in you. It is also the case that you can easily lose interest in them too. This happens because most often there is too much given and received too soon. People sometimes get bored and go after a new thrill, others suddenly lose interest for no apparent reason leaving you high and dry.
1. Dating is about fun and enjoying the company of your new romantic interest. The first and primary thing you must do is keep this element of fun high. So keep your dates amusing and interesting and do many varied and creative things, whatever the weather. This should never stop.
2. Do not give of yourself too much too soon. You must remain your enigma factor and an element of mystery to retain your date's interest. Therefore don't always explain everything and don't tell your entire life story too early on.
3. Keep your main life going and remain as busy and as routine as possible. A busy person is an interesting person and whilst you should not play games with your date, you do not suddenly need to start explaining everywhere you go and everything you do. The more they wonder about you the more they will want to know you.
4. Keep sex out of reach for a while in the early stages until you are practically wanting to rip each other's clothes off. Whilst this desire is at it's most intense so will your relationship grow. Ultimately sex brings a special closeness between two people but it should not necessarily be immediate. Many is the guy or girl who has lost someone for being too forthcoming too soon.
5. Retain your independence for nothing has changed. Whilst you may well soon fall in love, your friends are still there as are your nights out and your independent socializing. When things often go wrong it is because you have isolated yourself from your normal life too quickly and too soon. I advocate that you should always be able to bring something unique back to your relationship and to do this you must keep your independent interests to a degree.
6. Plan things together and communicate about the future. Have common goals and learn to work as a team to make some of these goals occur. I don't mean big things like buying a house together but the first step will be vacations for building that solid foundation.
7. Learn to laugh together a lot and keep laughing. Humor is the one factor beyond all others that seems to stray from relationships. It is both your responsibilities to keep things fun and entertaining so think up as many things as possible and start straight away.
8. Spend time together. It sounds obvious but it is amazing how many relationships drift simply because people don't put the time in. Work is just work. If this is your big romance it should start to take priority. Money most certainly isn't everything but quality time is. You will strengthen your bond if you put each other first as frequently as possible.
9. Communicate with each other. People seem to forget how to talk once they have started dating. It is as if you think you have said enough already. Well communication and eye contact and letting each other know how you feel, both good and bad, which will make all the difference as to whether you survive as a couple.
10. Listen to your partner and feel her/his needs. Listening is greatly underrated and should be practiced by everyone. People tell you things in the most unspoken or subtle of was. By listening to the person you love, you will see how you can keep things alive and alight.
11. Be spontaneous. There is nothing more boring than routine. Every little thing helps from planning a surprise weekend to turning up from work with flowers. It is your responsibility to be spontaneous every day so get into the habit, however long you have been dating.

"ThirtySomething and Single"

Being ThirtySomething is rapidly becoming the crux age for many of us. It's the time when we have matured and have woken up one morning to understand finally who we are and what we are about. We generally have some idea of direction at this age and it is a time for choices and crossroads. Life may have begun at 40 in times gone by but these days your 30th birthday is the age to sit up and take note. It is a time for reflection and self analysis, for checking how we are doing with our ambitions, and coming to terms with the fact that we are passing into a more mature age group - like it or not. I am not suggesting that becoming 30 means getting older or changing our lives but there are few of us who doubt it is not a time when we start to think - think a lot.
Now dating is heavily related to this ThirtySomethings age group because now that careers have been sorted out and a salary is coming in regularly it has dawned on us that we better get a partner to share some of these things with. For women, it may be a time when children become dauntingly high on their list of priorities and the hunt is on for a suitable parent and father. It may not yet be a time for frantic panic but its not far away. We will not get steadily older and whilst some of us will get better with age, most of us start to look a little ragged round the edges so we need to secure the best dating options whilst we still can
Being ThirtySomething means having more time and money to date properly, to make decisive choices about who, where and what you want to date and to learn from past dating mistakes. By now most of us will have at least on important relationships in the bag though some of us will not yet have fallen in love. We have strong friendships and plenty of shared practical experience in the ways of the heart. But all is not well, dating as you get older becomes increasingly frustrating and tiring. Your base levels for a perfect match have increased and you are becoming increasingly selective. You are tired of meeting jerks and timewasters and people who simply don't match with you, people out for sex and anything they can get.
The other major thing to add is that dating for ThirtySomethings is higher risk. Time is moving on, you don't want to waste more years in another failed relationship so you become determined to get it right so you become more cautious and careful. You are aware of divorce law, so you are also aware that you can meet the wrong person and they could take half of what you worked so hard to achieve. You have become cautious in your old age.
Dating fatigue has set in if you have been single for some time and you feel increasingly frustrated that you will not meet the right person. There is a tiny dread in the back of your mind that it may not be possible to meet Mr. or Miss Right because just maybe they don't exist. Increasingly you may come across unparalleled shallowness, in both sexes. Men can lose their hair in their thirties and women can age in different ways. Suddenly you won't do because you are thin on top or maybe your bosom isn't as pert as it was 10 years ago. You discover that that search for a soul mate may well be bull and that if you are George Clooney or Jennifer Aniston you will always do nicely.
The next issue to hit ThirtySomethings when dating is where to date. In your twenties you were are trance and rave clubs until 3am, or in bars with friends dancing until all hours and still able to be fresh in the office for 8.30am. Now you are 35, it isn't so easy to burn the candle at both ends. You need your sleep, you may not feel comfortable in places surrounded by people a decade younger so you may seek out solace in newer places. It is true that the cafe bar society has grown out of a wealthy ThirtySomething dating society and we can be thankful, but places to date are still not as easy to come by. It seems that clubs for ThirtySomethings are a little forced, and too directed to in your face dating. In other words, subtlety of the dating ritual has been lost, you are being checked out from the moment you enter the room.
Another issue that crops up with dating and ThirtySomethings is the age group we should date. Should we go for younger people, let us say aged 25 upwards, or maybe we like the more mature man or woman, let us say over 40. This really is an issue. It is an issue if we are still wanting children. In our thirties the people we may meet could already have a child or be separated or divorced and don't want another child. Or they may be actively seeking to have a child. If you are a woman you may be looking for a man who will make a good father. If you are a man you may be looking for a woman of child bearing age and therefore may not consider a woman over 40. This is the dilemma. Age starts to become a factor. It is possible you will feel you don't have much in common with someone aged 21 but do find them attractive, on the other hand you may find yourself drawn to the more mature aspects of an older man or woman. You can go in both directions at this age as you straddle the age gap.
The people we meet of our own age gap now have stories to tell, they may have baggage or they may have lost of baggage. We all have some kind of emotional dross we carry with us but in this age group it becomes very relevant. Do we want to meet people who already have a child by someone else, could we cope with children who aren't ours? There are a great many people on the rebound who have just spent years in relationships that didn't end. They could have had a 12 year marriage and be 31 and divorced and vowing never to get married again. Therefore, the people we meet as ThirtySomethings are far more complex than before.
The purpose of this article is not to provide answers but to acknowledge that being ThirtySomething is a very difficult age for dating and to recognize some of the factors that we are all sharing. I for one am 37 and never married so I know this subject well. We will carry on dating with renewed optimism but let us not forget that there are millions of people just like us, all looking for our perfect partner whilst coping with the issues stated.

"Dating Rules"

No one ever said dating was easy. First dates are awkward, second dates are expectant and the dates that follow that -- during which two people really start getting down to the business of getting to know each other -- present hundreds, if not thousands, of opportunities for missteps, faux pas, blunders and mistakes. That is to say nothing of the myriad chances for problems to which you could fall prey while arranging, planning and preparing for dates.

We call too often or not enough, we're too available or never around, we wear sandals to fancy restaurants, laugh hysterically at bad jokes, show up with blue carnations, gab on our cell phones during dinner and commit countless other dating crimes, mostly without realizing we’re doing it. No doubt about it -- bad dating behavior is a rampant affliction, and it's time to cure it with some common sense advice.
If dating is a game, then just like any other game, there are rules you need to study, learn and follow. After all, you wouldn't take the field without knowing where the base lines are, would you? (For those of you who are immune to ball field metaphors, the answer is "no.") While none of these do's and don'ts are set in stone -- and, as your mother told you, there are obviously exceptions to every rule -- here we attempt to equip you with an idiot-proof playbook for the fast-paced, intense, exciting, full-contact sport of searching for someone with whom to fall in love.
Dating Rules -- Do's
1. Do try to always look your best and be punctual. Showing up late or looking messy gives the impression that you don't care -- and, if that's the case, why go out with this person in the first place?
2. Do try to enjoy yourself on dates. Yes, finding your soul mate is serious business, and it can sometimes even be a scary endeavor, but keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun.
3. Do compliment your date on how he or she looks. Men and women tend to put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date, and it's nice (and flattering) to hear that all that energy paid off.
4. Do be interested and interesting. Ask questions, share insights and pay attention when your date is telling you what they like to do, read, watch, listen to, etc.
5. Do tell someone directly if you're not interested in seeing them again. Lying and stringing people along simply because you're too scared to tell them the truth is selfish and hurtful. If you don't want to go on another date with someone, let them down as gently -- but firmly -- as possible.
6. Do date only people you're attracted to, no matter what your friends say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.
7. Do stay positive, even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way, you will probably meet some pretty nice people.
8. Do plan ahead. Dating is a creative diversion that requires concentration and energy, so make arrangements ahead of time and let your date know you put some thought into the evening.
9. Do be proactive about finding people to date. The man or woman you've been searching for your whole life is probably not going to come ring your doorbell and beg you to go to dinner anytime soon. Dating requires action, so get out there and meet as many people as you can.
10. Do surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who are dating, too. Part of the fun of dating is celebrating, comparing notes and commiserating with your friends. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you to succeed at love and will be there for you if/when you need emotional support.
Dating Rules -- Don'ts
1. Don't call, text message or email someone you've just started seeing more than once a day unless they reply (or in the event of an emergency). Desperation and instability are major turnoffs.
2. Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past. Many of us are attracted to people who are bad for us, but it's important to break these patterns and seek out healthy relationships with matches who won't demean you or make you feel bad about yourself in any way.
3. Don't be late for a date. It's just rude. If you have to change your plans, give the other person as much notice and consideration as possible. And always apologize.
4. Don't lie to your date or about any aspect of your life, even if the truth isn't as sexy or you're worried they won't like it. It would be awful to ruin a potentially life-changing relationship with your perfect match because of some silly lie you told early on to impress him or her.
5. Don't be too available. We don't mean you should play games, but if you're free every night, you're probably not taking care of yourself, pursuing your own interests and spending time with your friends -- which means you're probably not very interesting to talk to. People with full, exciting lives make the best dates.
6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the beginning. Revealing your innermost secrets on the second date can lead to rejection. Don't be scared to open up, but remember that getting to know someone takes time, and you should let your relationship evolve.
7. Don't check out other people when you're on a date. Ever. This is just tacky. You may think you are subtle, but while you're scoping the cutie in the corner, your date will be heading for the door. Extend your partner the courtesy of concentrating solely on them while you're with them.
8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.
9. Don't ignore your personal safety. Carry your cell phone and keep it charged -- and make sure to tell your friends where you're going and when you'll be back. First dates should take place in well-lit public places. Don't ever let yourself be coerced into going anywhere or doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.
10. Don't give out personal information like your home phone number or address on the first date. Keep these details to yourself until you trust the person you're dating.
11. Don't have sex on a first date. If you like someone and are interested in getting to know them better (and possibly having a relationship), sex on a first date will likely ruin everything. It's much too soon, it's not romantic and it communicates to the other person that you're more interested in their physical characteristics than in finding out who they are.
12. Never date a married person. Statistically, it is very unlikely that they will ever leave their husband or wife for you. Dating someone who's married is the best way to serve yourself a heaping helping of misery, lies, deceit, sadness and heartache. If you are married, separate before dating. If you're single, don't be a shoulder to cry on -- you deserve better. Go out and find someone who's emotionally (and legally) available to you!

"Key Tips To Successful Dating"

What is a successful date? Does it mean it leads on to relationship and romance? Well you that would be cool. But it doesn't have to mean that. A successful date can be one where you got on very well, had a great time and things ended on excellent terms. Not every date we go on will end this way, but they should if we plan our dating a little more carefully.
My main concern is that we often just accept dates from the next person who shows and interest and we hope that we get on okay. The problem here is that we are being passive in our dating game. We are receivers without a game plan. Our dating is bound to be far more successful if we are the ones going out and choosing who we would like to date from a selection of those who are compatible.
To do this successfully you first have to have an idea of who you are most likely to get on with and be truthful when you do it. If you insist on dating everyone, 50% of the people you meet won't be compatible straight away. In which case you will have half of all your dates as a complete waste of time. Stop doing that and start analyzing what kind of people you get on with. Okay I could say the following@
I like people who are aged 29 to 36, single and never previously married, no children but would like a child sometime. Should be Christian to an extent, well educated, reasonably tall and have long blonde hair. They should be receptive to the idea of marriage like winter sports and live within 100 miles of my home.
Okay if I do this then I can be accused of many things here but this is just an example. The effect though is to set some criteria by which I can date and from which I am likely to see some successful dating. If I don't make a dating profile then its open to all comers. That's okay. Maybe you simply don't care and want to meet anyone you can., In which case spread your net widely. The problem is though that you are not going to please everyone and once again 50% of your dates will be a complete waste of time.
Recognize that none of us are compatible with everyone. Reclines your minimum dating requirements and then ensure you match the requirements you set. There is absolutely no point in setting the following if you don't match yourself.
I am looking to meet a guy who is 6 feet 2" or taller, must be athletic and a professional sportsman with an income of over $200k a year. They must be extremely attractive, own their own house and sports car and be able to surf.
If you are five feet 1", out of shape and maybe overweight with no career and a low income and cannot swim then what you have done is just describe your ideal fantasy figure not your probable dating criteria. I am not for one second saying you won't be attractive to the character you have described but to date successfully you must establish ground where you are most likely to be compatible and will easily match.
The next thing to consider when looking at successful dating are your expectations. If you are expecting instant love at first sight followed by a perfect romance and children then that's great. The issue here is that it may not happen that way. I wish it would but it doesn't. So being realistic and expecting little is often the best way to date. If you do then one of these days you are in for a nice surprise. Greet every date with optimism but don't go over the top. If you make a new friend then you have done well. Don't expect Cupid at every turn. It will happen but maybe not just yet.
Successful dates are simple dates. They are casual and fun. Believe me when I say that desperation comes across as though you have a placard over your head announcing it. Never ever be desperate to date. If you are then this is the time to take a breather ironically. How many times has someone said that you meet a person when you least expect it. Its true, that's why. So successful dating is when its part of your monthly routine but not the be all and end all.
Successful dates are when you are at your most casual and most upbeat and most relaxed. Successful dates happen when you are focused but in a good mood. Put the rest of your house on order and your dates will naturally take on a new glow because you will be far more positive and organized.
To summarize:
Successful dating involves setting realistic match criteria
Successful dating involves establishing dating boundaries
Successful dating means being prepared and upbeat
Successful dating means keeping things simple and fun
Successful dating means dating the right people for you
Successful dating means being realistic about your expectations
Successful dating means being patient

"Dating Tips for More Confidence"

To date successfully as a man or woman, you need to increase your confidence level. Some things are easy to change, while other idiosyncrasies will take some practice. One thing is certain: Nothing can be achieved without trying. If you never leave the house because you don't feel so great about yourself, then unless you use an Internet dating service, no one is going to come to you. Follow these tips give your confidence a boost, whether you're a single man or single woman:
Establish whether you're truly ready to meet someone new. If so, then proceed. If not, take your time.
Make a list addressing all the things you are not comfortable with about yourself. Be brutally honest.
Establish which things you think people may not like about you and make a list. Get a second opinion, too.
Address the way you look and the way you dress.
Change the things you think you can do better
By changing the most basic aspects of your looks, lifestyle and regime, you will instantly feel more confident. You will have a new you.
Ensure you are comfortable with any changes you make.
Make sure you are in shape or attempting to be. If you are dieting or exercising, remember to be patient as these changes will take a little while.
Your confidence will grow as you feel better about yourself and others will sense it.
Start to change the routines that drag you down. If you associate with people who criticize you, lose them fast.
Start doing the things you wish you had always had the courage to do, like a hobby, sport or society. Don't look back.
Learn to enjoy the smaller things in life and give yourself time specifically for these things. If you like to cook for friends, then start having dinner parties. Don't wait for others to invite you out.
Stop accepting second best. Start making yourself the first priority.
By looking and feeling good about yourself and widening your horizons, your life will begin to change for the better and your confidence levels will go up.
Be selective about what kind of person you really like. And by the same token, talk to everyone. The more people who are interested, the higher your confidence levels.
Start dating. If someone asks you out, accept.
Set yourself some life goals as well as romantic goals. Other people love to be associated with driven and goal-orientated people. Confidence breeds confidence.
Be proactive and ask someone out. Just do it, and accept freely that some people will say no. Many will also say yes.
Learn to like and love yourself for who you are and what you want from your life. Do not allow negative family comments to influence you in any way.
Make conversation with the nice people you meet along the way.
Become sociable and look good at every opportunity. Be your own best advert.
Remember that your confidence levels will become sky high by people saying yes to you. This will happen when you select the right kind of dates, so keep a realistic approach to dating.
Walk away from anything you don't like and instill a positive mental attitude in everything you do.
Stick with it and just keep going. Don't go back to what there was before. That's over.

"Top 10 Dating Tips"

Whether you are new to the dating scene, are reentering the dating scene, or are a serial dater, you can use dating tips and advice. No one is a dating expert – even the most beautiful and wealthy people all struggle with matters of the heart. Everyone can learn something about how to date more, how to attract the types of people we want to attract, and how to make sure initial chemistry blooms into an enduring relationship.
The truth is, there are no magic formulas, no fail-proof tricks, no cunning ways of trapping Mr. or Miss Right. There are however some essential facts that you should always bear in mind along the way. Dating tips are just that -- tips, not one-size-fits-all guarantees. Different tacks will work for different people. It depends on the situation, who we are, where we are in our lives, etc. However, there are some threads of advice that are fairly universal and can benefit anyone who practices them:
Top 10 Dating Tips

1. Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.
   
2. Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.
   
3. Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.
   
4. Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.
   
5. Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.
   
6. Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.
   
7. Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.
   
8. Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.
   
9. Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.
   
10. Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.
    

"Dating Rules" The do's and dont's of the world of relationships and dating

No one ever said dating was easy. First dates are awkward, second dates are expectant and the dates that follow that -- during which two people really start getting down to the business of getting to know each other -- present hundreds, if not thousands, of opportunities for missteps, faux pas, blunders and mistakes. That is to say nothing of the myriad chances for problems to which you could fall prey while arranging, planning and preparing for dates.


We call too often or not enough, we're too available or never around, we wear sandals to fancy restaurants, laugh hysterically at bad jokes, show up with blue carnations, gab on our cell phones during dinner and commit countless other dating crimes, mostly without realizing we’re doing it. No doubt about it -- bad dating behavior is a rampant affliction, and it's time to cure it with some common sense advice.

If dating is a game, then just like any other game, there are rules you need to study, learn and follow. After all, you wouldn't take the field without knowing where the base lines are, would you? (For those of you who are immune to ball field metaphors, the answer is "no.") While none of these do's and don'ts are set in stone -- and, as your mother told you, there are obviously exceptions to every rule -- here we attempt to equip you with an idiot-proof playbook for the fast-paced, intense, exciting, full-contact sport of searching for someone with whom to fall in love.

Dating Rules -- Do's

1. Do try to always look your best and be punctual. Showing up late or looking messy gives the impression that you don't care -- and, if that's the case, why go out with this person in the first place?

2. Do try to enjoy yourself on dates. Yes, finding your soul mate is serious business, and it can sometimes even be a scary endeavor, but keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun.

3. Do compliment your date on how he or she looks. Men and women tend to put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date, and it's nice (and flattering) to hear that all that energy paid off.

4. Do be interested and interesting. Ask questions, share insights and pay attention when your date is telling you what they like to do, read, watch, listen to, etc.

5. Do tell someone directly if you're not interested in seeing them again. Lying and stringing people along simply because you're too scared to tell them the truth is selfish and hurtful. If you don't want to go on another date with someone, let them down as gently -- but firmly -- as possible.

6. Do date only people you're attracted to, no matter what your friends say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.

7. Do stay positive, even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way, you will probably meet some pretty nice people.

8. Do plan ahead. Dating is a creative diversion that requires concentration and energy, so make arrangements ahead of time and let your date know you put some thought into the evening.

9. Do be proactive about finding people to date. The man or woman you've been searching for your whole life is probably not going to come ring your doorbell and beg you to go to dinner anytime soon. Dating requires action, so get out there and meet as many people as you can.

10. Do surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who are dating, too. Part of the fun of dating is celebrating, comparing notes and commiserating with your friends. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you to succeed at love and will be there for you if/when you need emotional support.

Dating Rules -- Don'ts

1. Don't call, text message or email someone you've just started seeing more than once a day unless they reply (or in the event of an emergency). Desperation and instability are major turnoffs.

2. Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past. Many of us are attracted to people who are bad for us, but it's important to break these patterns and seek out healthy relationships with matches who won't demean you or make you feel bad about yourself in any way.

3. Don't be late for a date. It's just rude. If you have to change your plans, give the other person as much notice and consideration as possible. And always apologize.

4. Don't lie to your date or about any aspect of your life, even if the truth isn't as sexy or you're worried they won't like it. It would be awful to ruin a potentially life-changing relationship with your perfect match because of some silly lie you told early on to impress him or her.

5. Don't be too available. We don't mean you should play games, but if you're free every night, you're probably not taking care of yourself, pursuing your own interests and spending time with your friends -- which means you're probably not very interesting to talk to. People with full, exciting lives make the best dates.

6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the beginning. Revealing your innermost secrets on the second date can lead to rejection. Don't be scared to open up, but remember that getting to know someone takes time, and you should let your relationship evolve.

7. Don't check out other people when you're on a date. Ever. This is just tacky. You may think you are subtle, but while you're scoping the cutie in the corner, your date will be heading for the door. Extend your partner the courtesy of concentrating solely on them while you're with them.

8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.

9. Don't ignore your personal safety. Carry your cell phone and keep it charged -- and make sure to tell your friends where you're going and when you'll be back. First dates should take place in well-lit public places. Don't ever let yourself be coerced into going anywhere or doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.

10. Don't give out personal information like your home phone number or address on the first date. Keep these details to yourself until you trust the person you're dating.

11. Don't have sex on a first date. If you like someone and are interested in getting to know them better (and possibly having a relationship), sex on a first date will likely ruin everything. It's much too soon, it's not romantic and it communicates to the other person that you're more interested in their physical characteristics than in finding out who they are.

12. Never date a married person. Statistically, it is very unlikely that they will ever leave their husband or wife for you. Dating someone who's married is the best way to serve yourself a heaping helping of misery, lies, deceit, sadness and heartache. If you are married, separate before dating. If you're single, don't be a shoulder to cry on -- you deserve better. Go out and find someone who's emotionally (and legally) available to you!

"Don’t Be Shy! Online Dating Is Easy And Fun!"

I have never been good at picking up girls. I am not a bar person, I don’t like to strike up conversations with people I do not know. I have to admit that fact. So I was destined to lead a life without female companionship until I got the nerve to try out some of the online dating services that populate the internet.

I had to screw my courage to the sticking spot, and once I did I did a little research on the many sites available to pick the best one for me. The options were enormous. Just typing in a single UK in a dating site brought back thousands of hits. Each one was a possible way to meet my match.

The beauty of using one of these sites is that you can be yourself. Pick one which best fits your needs. I’d suggest a local dating site, because it doesn’t help your cause if you find Ms. Right and she is 1,000 miles away! Be careful, though, not to reveal too much information, especially personal information like your place of work or address.

Of course, you have to mention all of what you are looking for in a person, the things you like and dislike, but the important thing is to get a comfort level of revealing your good side. You don’t have to go into depth initially, but you do have to write about things you like to do, places you like to go and so forth.

Some people make themselves out to be perfect in any way. In my opinion this is a mistake. Ultimately you will (hopefully) be meeting someone, and if she believes a rich movie star or business tycoon will show up and a poor employer bloke appears she will be very disappointed.

Be yourself and once a match is made don’t immediately jump for the first person who responds. Talk with several people, get to know them. That’s the beauty of online dating services. You have the ability to interact with someone in a non-confrontational, friendly, fun way. It’s easy to do when you are not looking directly into someone’s eyes. That will come later.

You may hear bad things about online dating but the majority find it easy and stress free. You can be free to reveal more about who you really are over email than in some loud bar or pub. Be honest but be sure not to dwell on your faults everyone has good and bad qualities.

If you go into it with eyes wide open you can surely find these services to be helpful in offering an opportunity for you to find someone to share some time with. Who knows? It could be the beginning of a wonderful relationship. It sure beats sitting at a bar and going home by yourself.

Before you visit different dating website about Canadian online dating make sure you check excellent online dating statistics reviews to make vise control over all your dating decisions.
Article written by Ferda Shinsky

"Online Dating Tip: Go No Further Until You Ask These Three Questions"

One of the most powerful things about online dating is its ability to break down barriers. People who are from entirely different backgrounds and beliefs are able to come together by realizing they have more things in common than they realize. If the same situation was presented to them in the offline world than the chances are they would not be receptive. Not to say that internet dating online is one large community that is free of hang-ups where you will find the love of your life instantly. It is not and no one should fool themselves into thinking otherwise.

Like the offline world, online dating requires continuous learning about the other person. In fact it may be a little more detailed since it requires the proper image that puts you in a more positive light as well as constant messaging and chatting before you even decide to meet face to face. For this reason it is crucial to ask certain questions to let you know where the other person stands.

1. What are you looking for in a potential partner?

This is a pretty basic question but you would be surprised at how many people it trips up. Why because many people do not have a clue as to what they are looking for in the other person. Pay special attention to their answer. Do they go into detail that pleases you or turns you off? If they say they don't know than that is a clear indication to take the relationship even slower and a little bit more cautiously. That "I don't know" response maybe genuine or they could be hiding something.

2. If you have done this before how did it go?

You may find yourself attracted to a person who has gone through the online dating experience previously. If things did not go well pay attention to how they express it. Do they trash the other person unmercifully or do they blame themselves to the point of unhealthy self pity? There is nothing wrong with singing the blues about what went wrong but if their answer is at either extreme than watch out.

3. What makes a good relationship?

When they answer do they talk in terms of an equal partnership or does it seem like one person (you) should go out their way to meet the majority of expectations of the other person (them)? This is an excellent question for gauging what your relationship will be like if you choose to pursue it.

Keep in mind that even if they answer all of these questions to your satisfaction, you should let your instincts play a major role in your decision making process. In some cases the person could be giving you the answers they think you want to hear and not necessarily what they believe. Now it maybe they like you so much they want to please you or it could be deception plain and simple. You do not know so use your instincts and take it slow.

You are not asking these questions to start an argument or make the other person uncomfortable but to get a sense of what the future may hold for the both of you. Therefore do not be afraid to ask. If the other person is really on the same wavelength as you then they will be only too happy to answer. Also be ready to offer your take on these questions. A big part of a good relationship is communication and that involves some give and take on everybody's part.


About the Author
Article written by Daryl Campbell. Get more dating and relationship tips along with a free copy of 101 Romantic Ideas. It's all at the The Dating Tip

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"Online Dating: The Phenomenon"

Online Dating is one of the hottest topics in today's world and indeed many people can read about it on a number of different websites dedicated specifically to the promotion of the online relationship and singles world. Ultimately, the people that are interested in becoming a part of the online dating world should understand something about how phenomenal online dating has become.

First and foremost, it is important to point out that online dating is something that has actually been around almost since the inception of the internet. Most of us have only heard of online dating sites really becoming popular in the last two or three years, but the reality is that there were online chat groups dedicated to the concept of online dating for a very long time. Just as the abacus is considered the first computer historically, these online chat groups from the early to mid 90s will in the future be considered the pre-cursors to modern dating websites.

However, websites of the kind that we see today weren't really appearing on the internet until just a few years ago. These websites sprung up in order to fill a perceived void in the internet market. After all, the internet boom was just starting to happen for the second time and all of those dating video services were making millions each year from people recording just one video that would only be seen by a select group of people. Rather than going there, people found that they were able to leverage awesome power through the use of popular online dating websites such as Lava Life and in many cases for a much smaller monthly fee.

Lava Life and the websites like it are all able to make lots of money each year. However, they don't do it by charging their clients outrageous sums. In fact, clients are willing to stand up and testify that their fees are actually quite reasonable; especially when compared to what offline services will charge you. There really is nothing anywhere else like the online dating websites and that in and of itself is definitely something noteworthy.

And that brings us to today; where are we now in terms of the online dating phenomenon? Well, where we are at the moment is at the point where online dating has become so popular the Ad Sense ads for it pay handsomely. This means that people have now started websites for online dating that are actually free of charge to join and therefore you as a customer are getting the maximum amount of leverage; an infinite amount, since you pay nothing for the service! As more and more free websites pop up in order to take advantage of the online dating craze, we will see a greater amount of competition in the future. The future for online dating is looking very good indeed.

Lee Smith writes about the massive popularity of online dating sites across the internet
http://www.videodating-online.co.uk

About the Author
Lee Smith writes about travel and dating online for adults http://seo-consultant-uk.blogspot.com

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"Dating Tips"

Dating is not easy so take a look at this useful article to help you on your way. If you are new to the dating scene, a regular or just simply someone trying to meet someone new there should always be time for top dating tips, advice, information and things to consider. None of us are dating experts (unless of course we work at a dating agency) otherwise we would have a magic formula to present to others. And no, looks are not the magic formula otherwise all supermodels would be blissfully happy. Good looking people the world over struggle when it comes to affairs of the heart.

The truth is, there are no magic formulas, no perfect tricks of the dating trade, no cunning ways of trapping Mr. or Miss Right and no top dating tips that wave a magic wand. But there are some essential facts that you should always bear in mind along the way. dating tips are just that - tips, they are not promises written in stone and different things will always work differently for different people. However, introduction services can offer good advice along the lines of the below:

Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, decide who you are looking for, do your research and be ready to commit to dating. Half heartedness won't work. Also prepare for some let downs along the way but don't take dating too seriously either.

Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't go overboard and look like someone you are not but maybe its time to throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. People appreciate appearances, a matchmaker will always tell you first impressions count.

Have a good think about what your dating goals are and timescales. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve.

Sort out your confidence levels in advance. By following the first three tips you will feel better and be more focused. Do all the things that will boost your confidence from avoiding negative friends (often the married ones) to attending the right kind of social events. If you need a little guidance go to a dating agency.

Choose those you have a good chance of dating, don't aim low but do aim realistically. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous then good for you, but be prepared and be realistic about your chances.

Work out in advance where in your neighbourhood you are likely to meet people and join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups, anything where you are likely to meet potential partners. The kind of partners you are looking for. I know its a clichй but you will not meet people by staying indoors. Enjoy your dating experiences.

Take time off from dating occasionally if its not going well or causing dating fatigue. Dating is an ongoing process and so recharging the batteries and keeping the confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. So date in phases if necessary.

Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not bring you a sparkle. The fact is, most people are interesting and whilst you may not be out there looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.

Never ever make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. Peak too early and you have little left to offer and emotions may never have had the time to develop

About the Author
For and On Behalf of Drawing Down The Moon a dating agency in London.

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"The Dating Agency"

The dating agency is not a recent phenomenon, they have been around in one form or another for centuries. People have always needed to meet potential partners to produce families and offspring and every civilization and society has made that possible in one form or another.

In our modern society as more and more of us have chosen the single path we find that the old systems of dating are no longer adequate. Family life is not as close for many, parents and families often not living in the same city. Therefore the reliance on family gatherings for introductions is much rarer. A couple of generations ago we may have met people through our local friends and families too, but as we grow older many of our friends get married and lives become distanced and separated and unfortunately our local communities are not as close as in previous decades, leaving us more reliant on using introduction services.

These days we are not so close to our neighbours who can be as much a stranger as the man in the street. Combine this with long working hours, stressful careers, busy diaries and the need for rest and recuperation and there are far fewer outlets for the dating agency than before. Indeed many would argue that the modern dating agency is in fact the workplace first and foremost with the after work bar a close second.

The cost of the traditional dating agency is far from cheap and you are paying for the time of a person to try and match you. A matchmaking agency is selective and are careful as to who they place on their books however it can be a soul less business with no guarantees of success. There can be no guarantees with introduction services of any kind because love is not a guaranteed commodity.

The Internet has come into its own in the last 5 years with the advent of professional dating agencies available online 24 hours a day. Along with the introduction services also come the cash-in merchants who know nothing about the dating industry and they are generally to be avoided. Most online dating agencies function at the same as the lowest levels in that you can join for free and add a profile which is basically an electronic form of some of your details and a photograph. Potential suitors will then match with you, or you with them at your leisure and communicate via email.

The free sites are okay to begin with if you simply wish to test the water go straight to a professional dating agency as they are always free to join. Register for free and look for a site that includes detailed profiling and multiple photos for no cost. The problem with completely free sites is that you can never be sure that the people in the database are serious about dating. A full membership will reserve communication between members for those who pay. That way you can be sure you are dealing with serious daters only.

An Internet dating agency that charges will usually be very secure with serious daters, and a proper ecommerce system. Always select a dating agency that never re-bills your credit card so that you can pick and choose when you want to communicate and avoid sites that penalize you for blocking people you don't wish to chat with. Some websites will cancel your membership if you block too many which is something that is totally wrong for safety reasons. The top agencies will include instant messaging, private email and chat rooms as well as voicemail if possible.

The benefits of Internet dating are clearly obvious. It is distance dating so your safety is assured. You can pick and choose when and who you want to chat with. You can remove yourself from the database at any time and the cost is very small in proportion to any other kind of dating. You may browse photos, leave messages and filter those you don't like. That way you can narrow down the possible suitors to those who you really stand a chance of matching with when you meet.

From the personal ads in a local magazine to dating online, all forms of modern dating are viable in our singles generation and I recommend that you look at all the alternatives on offer. There is no longer any stigma with using dating agencies and I feel that they are extremely valid in our campaign to find our ideal mate.

About the Author
For and On Behalf of Drawing Down The Moon a professional dating agency in London.

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"Dating Relationship - Do You Want a Relationship or a Trophy?"

Many of us have experienced it over the years. You meet a girl that you have a great platonic relationship with and then the pressure starts to build. Where is it coming from? Odds are it is from the other guys who want to know why you have not gotten more intimate with her i.e. sex. The result is a great relationship turns into an attempted conquest. In many guy circles, you either win or you lose when it comes to women.

That kind of attitude has left quite a number of men (even the alleged winners) sitting in the silence of their lonely rooms wondering, "What happened?" Even with the powerful emergence of internet dating online, speed dating, live chats and all the other innovations, the same attitudes of victory or defeat are on full display.

No woman wants to be a footnote or just a notch on some guy's bed post. The majority of women deal in terms of relationships not sports. With that said, there a few things to keep in mind.

1. Communicate

Forget those old movies where the hero plays the strong silent type and the women swoon. That may go for some but most women want communication. You may think sitting there on a date quietly practicing your Clint Eastwood poses and attitude is a win win situation but more than likely, she will think you have nothing useful to contribute to the conversation. Worst than that, she may think you have not been listening and that really ticks women off.

Dating is sharing. Listening and asking her intelligent questions means you are fully engaged. Be prepared also to contribute some personal information. Not that you have to tell her your life's history at one sitting but enough to add to the conversation. The more interesting you are the more she will want to know about you.

2. Confidence or Jerk

Women may have the maternal instinct but that does not mean they are looking for a cry baby. Have confidence in yourself and keep the self pity to a minimum. She is not going out with you to audition as your therapist. Leave all the self analyzing at home.

At the other end of the spectrum is the jerk. To quote an old song, "He's a legend in his own mind and God's gift to women." No woman wants to excuse herself from the table constantly because she can only take your arrogance in small doses. You are not the King of Siam so show a little modesty.

3. Time

Attraction can happen instantaneously but growing a relationship takes time. If you feel that you would like to know her a lot better than you do and that includes mentally and emotionally as well as the physical, then be patient. The old saying anything worthwhile is worth waiting for goes double for relationships.

No woman wants to be a trophy that you put on the mantle piece to show off to your buddies so do not put your dating relationships in terms of winning or losing. Communicate, be confident without turning into a jerk and give the relationship time. Remember the only one that you should concentrate on impressing is her.

About the Author
Daryl Campbell invites you to get tons of relationship and dating tips, tools, videos, up to the minute information as well as a free copy of 101 Romantic Ideas. It's all at The Dating Tip

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"Dating Advice: 5 Ways to Make Sure You Do Not Get a Second Date"

Okay. You've done all the things the dating experts told you to do on how to meet women and lo and behold it worked. You met an attractive woman and she wants to go out with you. Great. However if you want to make this first date your last and guarantee that she avoids any future contact with you as if you had a plague from the 12th century than utilize the following tips:

1. Lateness

You planned out this date in great detail. You obviously planned also not to be on time. It is one thing to call and let her know you are running a little behind schedule but are on the way. It is another to show up an hour later (or worse) and not even give her the courtesy of a phone call. When it comes to going out somewhere, many women are sticklers for promptness. You do not get a second chance to make a first impression and showing up late tells her you are not really taking this date seriously

2. What conversation?

Your date starts talking and talking and talking. Not because she wants to but because you do not have anything to say other than an occasional "uh-huh". It could be nerves on your part or you were just unprepared to speak on any subject. Whatever it is, having to drag conversation out of your date is not a woman's idea of fun.

This goes for the opposite end of the spectrum also. Practicing conversation hogging or slapping down her opinion each time she attempts to contribute to the discussion may give her the following impression: "This guy is a jerk." Chances are that's not the vibe you wanted to give out.

3. What humor?

You don't know any jokes. You don't make any humorous comments. As a matter of fact, when she says something funny you go out of your way to analyze it and find the serious point in what she was trying to say. Yuck. No one wants to be around a stick in the mud. Sharing some laughs with her can work absolute wonders so lighten up.

Now keep in mind she never agreed to go out on a date with Bozo the Clown either. Laughing at anything and everything is not healthy. Doing this could make her a little nervous about you. She could also come to the conclusion you have some serious issues to work out.

4. Pretend

This is known in some circles as lying. Sure you want to impress her but exaggerating your importance is not the way to do it. Starting a dating relationship with a lie is a formula for disaster. If your date senses that you are lying, that disaster will come sooner than you think.

5. She reminds me of

If you want to guarantee this is your last date with her than start here. You are out with her and talking about your ex wife, former girlfriends or any other women you have on your mind is not going to further the relationship. She agreed to go out on this date with you. You would do well to treat her like she is the most important woman in your life at this moment.

Of course there are other things you can do to foul up your chances of getting a second date. Talking on your cell phone incessantly, forgetting her name (repeatedly) or drifting off to never never land when she is talking. All are pretty effective but for right now stick with the five listed above and before you know it, you will be home every night watching reruns of Sanford and Son.


About the Author
Daryl Campbell invites you to get more relationship and dating tips, tools, videos, up to the minute information plus your free copy of 101 Romantic Ideas. It's all at The Dating Tip

Source: ArticleAttic,info